Yuan's 1, 2, 3D, A, B, I see Adeventures
by Cruxis Gypsy
Summary: This is an entertaining read...well I'm the author and I'm supposed to compliment my work...Anyway, it bascially revolves around Yuan...and...Yuan plays a major role...and, Yuan encounters Martel more than once in this story (which makes it interesting...


**Yuan's 1, 2, 3D, A, B, I see Adventures**

_Written By Cruxis Gypsy_

**Disclaimer: I do not own ToS, Yuan, or any of the sugar that Yuan digests throughout the fanfic. Also, if any bananas accidentally appear for some unapparent reason in this story I don't own them, only their skins.**

**Yuan:** This is interesting…

**Cruxis Gypsy**: Isn't it…wait! What is interesting?

**Yuan:** The fact that a fanfic is written all about me…and…

**Cruxis Gypsy**: And?

**Yuan**: that you're not chasing me for my hair…

**Cruxis Gypsy**: You don't know how much that therapy cost me…ee…ha…Yuan…hair…noo!

**Centauri Cruxis Angel**: And how much it cost me! I don't think it has worked though…

**Cruxis Gypsy**: Hey! What the hell are you doing here? This is my fanfic!

**Centauri Cruxis Angel**: I know, but I just wanted to see how you are going…

**Cruxis Gypsy**: Aww…how nice…now bugger off! That's right! My story. Shoo!

**Centauri Cruxis Angel**: Fine then…(damn! I wanted to nick some of her notes)

**Cruxis Gypsy**: I don't think I didn't see that notebook! Anyway…

**Kratos**: …

**Yuan**: Kratos what are you doing here?

**Centauri Cruxis Angel**: I invited him.

**Cruxis Gypsy**: THIS IS MY FANFIC! So Centauri go away, but Kratos stay and help Yuan do my housework, while I write…

_Chapter 1- Ideas, ideas and more sugar…umm…I mean, ideas_

'Thanks Yuan, you're the best!' said little Mithos just before he ran back to the little cottage where he and Martel lived. Yuan was on his way to visit the pair, when he came across Mithos being cornered by a thief and a pack of wolves. So heroically, Yuan jumped in and began to fight away the group and save Mithos. So once the last wolf had scamped off into the distance yelping after the others, Mithos danced on the spot clapping and yelling, 'Yay, Yuan saved me!' Yuan stood straight trying to catch a slight breeze that may ruffle his hair and give him the look of a clichéd hero. So after Yuan had escorted Mithos to the cottage and saw him run into the home, he decided against running into the home like Mithos did, and then passionately snog Martel. Because he being the hero, for the short while before Kratos steals the spotlight, the woman should come to him. He waited for about roughly two minutes, when he saw Mithos' head poke up behind the window and look out at him, he then said something. Of coarse, Yuan being the hero for the moment was able to read Mithos' lips, he said,

'Fuan nis mill thout mare. Hood eye nask flim nim? Nut Harfel ne pooks cutid, lee pis danding care pike wa nonuce!'

Yuan shook his head at little Mithos' English, and made a note to himself that he stood teach him to get into Martel's pan…I mean good books.

However, what Mithos really said was,

'Yuan is still out there. Should I ask him in? But Martel he looks stupid, he is standing there like a ponuce!'

Martel was sitting in a chair and sewing a little cushion together, she sighed and put down the frame.

'Fine I'll go talk to him… Ah Mithos, go downstairs to the basement and get out your 'Mr Bunnykins' books.'

Mithos gasped in glee, clapped his hands together quickly and then merrily skipped off down to the basement. Martel sighed in relief because she knew that 'Mr Bunnykins' books are deeply hidden and will keep him occupied while she talks to Yuan. She quickly fixed her hair and straightened out her dress, then walked out the front door to meet Yuan.

Yuan was currently looking around at the surrounding woodlands and making sure no rabid squirrel, chipmunk or any other fluffy critter would jump out on him when he was with Martel. Little did he know that Martel was standing right behind him and listening to his conversation with himself,

'…I will not be made a fool of…again in front of Martel. I must be confident, stylist, cool, calm and…well I already have sexy and good-looking covered. But what else does Martel want from me, yeah, I'm fairly intelligent and I've got heaps of wisdom…but what else could she want…'

Martel sighed to herself and then spoke out-loud which made Yuan jump and redden,

'Someone who isn't so up themselves…god!'

Yuan started to fidget and managed to correct his stutter,

'Ah M…M…Martel, h…h…how a…are you? Ummm…how long were you there for? What did you hear?'

Martel sighed and rubbed her head,

'Look Yuan, it was really nice that you helped Mithos, actually it was quite heroic…'

Martel's eyelids drooped slightly and began to flutter, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Yuan couldn't believe what she was doing, it was like the good Lord was listening to his prayers, he made a quick one before he returned to talk to Martel, _"Dear Lord, I know you are watch or listening, but please let me get lucky. And if I do can you please stop looking and listening, it might be better for your health…"_ He turned his attention back to Martel who was acting like a common tart and laying herself all over him, and that is the way he liked it.

'Ah Martel, are you okay?' He asked, hoping that it wouldn't change her current position. She twirled a finger on his chest then looked him in the eyes and said,

'I'm not sure, why don't you decide it for me, sir.'

Yuan paused and then said to himself out loud,

'No one except Botta and all of the Renegades call me sir…' He looked off confused, and Martel was obliviously feed up with him just talking started to kiss his neck. Yuan managed to blurt out while she was kissing his neck which was very distracting,

'M…Martel have you taken something or eaten something…red frogs? Raw coffee beans? Cordial?'

Martel paused from kissing his neck, which Yuan was only slightly happy about because any longer and he would of fainted in bliss. She said kissing his neck again,

'I don't know…Sir…' Yuan realised that she called him sir again but he brushed it off, because if she took something to make her like this he might as well make the most of it. He went with the flow and wrapped his arms around her and began to slightly and slowly rub her back. She pulled back and looked at him and pulled her arms back, Yuan thought she was backing off because he got involved. She then whispered,

'Kiss me…sir!' Yuan closed his eyes, once again brushing off the fact that sir was said again, and pursed his lips to kiss her. Suddenly, Martel pulled back her hand and slapped Yuan across the face, his eyes snapped open…

Yuan saw the plain blue ceiling of his bedroom in the Sylvarant Renegades base and the big, ugly head of his man servant/assistant Botta. Yuan screamed in horror, for after seeing the beautiful face of his beloved Martel, Botta looked more like a shaved gorilla who had botox injected into his face. Botta stood straight and exclaimed after Yuan finished his high pitched, girly scream,

'You were dreaming out loud, sir! Sorry for slapping you, sir! I believed it was necessary, sir!' Yuan sighed at Botta words and began to cry into his 'Tin Tin' pillow. And then exclaimed between sobs,

'IT WAS ALL A DREAM……NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

Botta exclaimed again in his very solider-like voice,

'Yes, sir! It was a dream, sir!'

Yuan was still wallowing in his self-grief and continued to mutter,

'Those dreams only come around annually, so now I need to wait till next year…'

Yuan's eyes suddenly widened, he threw off his blankets, which headed for Botta who had his hands out waiting to catch them. Instead, they hit square in the face causing him to lose balance and hit the ground with a thud. However, Yuan ignored his manservant's down fall and current situation and pain… Yuan was standing in his monkey and banana pyjamas and flicking past 12 months on his calendar.

'Ohhhh… why couldn't you just let me dream Botta? Another 12 months I can't wait that long for the 4000th time…' Once again Yuan burst out into tears from the lack of Martel in his life, between tears he exclaimed,

'Do you realise how important these dreams are to me? I hardly ever dream that Martel makes the first move…and we nearly kissed for the 4000th time…' Yuan collapsed on his bed crying, Botta had now recovered from the near suffocating incident of the blankets; he swore they went for his throat… He said loudly over Yuan's pathetic sobs,

'Most sincere apologies, sir! Next time I hear you having a raunchy dream I shall not interrupt, sir!' Yuan's sobs stopped; he sniffed a few times before asking,

'So what was the reason for slapping me out of my beloved raunchy dream?'

'We have something in need of your attention, sir!' Botta once again exclaimed putting extra emphasis on "sir". Yuan sighed once again at the his loss then went into his changing rooms, then emerged a few minutes later with his everyday outfit and cape on. Little did he know that in his grief he had put his armour on the wrong way around, it felt a little tight around his chest but he though it was because of his heart aching for Martel. He followed Botta out into his office and sat down at the desk and ordered a large Moccacino light on the foam, and a buttered sultana bun using the 99 less fat margarine. The Renegade who took his order repeated it back to him,

'One small cuppacino with extra foam, and would you like a buttered sultana bun, sir?'

Yuan thought about it them ordered Botta,

'Botta can you chuck him in the crossing desert room for about an hour…and make sure that they use the spiked paddles.' Botta walked over to the Renegade who took the order and lead him into the door labelled, "Crossing the desert of the swollen ass". As the renegade was lead into the room containing a treadmill and some painful paddles, Yuan picked up the documents on his desk and straightened them. He then found that folding them were much more fun, and then making them into little paper planes was even more fun. When Botta turned around he was bombarded but little paper planes, two hit him in the head, one in the eye, four in the chest, two in the legs and the last one hit his vulnerable area. Which resulted him in hitting the floor like a sack of potatoes, and groan in pain. Yuan, who was still making paper planes and sending them on kamikaze missions, finally stopped when he ran out of paper. After his few moment of fun, his grief of loss returned and he began to mourn once again. Botta struggled to his feet; his eyes were watering from the pain of paper plane attacks. Yuan began to talk to him,

"I can't believe I only have those dreams yearly. Like it would be brilliant if I could have like a raunchy dream schedule, like every Thursday after bingo. That would be brilliant I'll be able to warn you to let me sleep in, I could even get to second base! Just imagine it Botta, holding hands with Martel…why I can't even imagine such a thing (Drool started to dribble out of Yuan's mouth, so he kept a tissue close by). But I could dream it! That's if I had a schedule or a machine that read the raunchiness of my dream and warned you…" I light bulb turned on over Yuan's head. A Renegade stood at the door and said,

"Apologies, sir! I did not know you were in here, sir. Next time I won't turn on the lights, sir!" Yuan squinted in the bright light and ordered the Renegade to leave. Botta, who was leaning asleep on a side desk behind Yuan, was struck awake when Yuan jumped up out of his new and high-class rolly work chair. Yuan jumped a little to enthusiastically, which sent the chair colliding into Botta's crown jewels without warning. Yuan now standing like a twit on a hill with a constipated look on his face, wait I think he was called…oh, what was the name…Zelda…no, no…Link! That's right. So he was looking a lot like Link, and exclaimed.

"Botta, get me paper, pens, coloured crayons, some play dough, safety scissors (He had problems when he was younger), two rolls of toilet paper, one lavender air freshener, 20 bars of soap, 3 sugar coated buns, two pints of red cordial, and tranquillisers to protect yourself." Botta was till rolling on the floor in pain, he just managed to squeak,

"Why, sir?" Yuan was smirking like a minkey who has just spotted a banana tree with no electric fence surrounding it.

"Because Botta, I have a idea!"

**Yuan:** Mmmm…that is interesting.

**Cruxis Gypsy**: What? Yuan who told you could stop working? Have you cleaned my bathroom yet?

**Yuan:** Ahhhh…well, I'm not reading I'm just cleaning…yeah, I'm cleaning your chair, because it is just a filthy black colour…(_starts scrubbing the chair edges_)

**Cruxis Gypsy**: No, stop! Go away, my chair is supposed to be black!

**Yuan:** Oh okay then… (_Slowly walks off whistling, when fair distance away starts to sprint in other direction._)

**Cruxis Gypsy**: sighs All well…KRATOS!

**Kratos**: (_Walks in holding mop and bucket, wearing a poker dotted apron_)

**Cruxis Gypsy**: Yuan has gone for a bit of a run…

**Kratos**: What he ran off?

**Cruxis Gypsy**: Nah, don't worry the bees while paralyse him. And the hounds will bring him back. But could you start on the bathroom.

**Kratos:** Sighs and trudges off to the bathroom

**Cruxis Gypsy**: (_leans back on chair, placing fingers together, and turns screen on to watch the killer bee minions chase after Yuan_) Excellent…


End file.
